August 25th, 2014
Lots of men rush into sex. But the problem with this is that it often takes a woman longer to get heated up. In this sense men are like microwaves, hot in seconds, where women are like toasters, it takes a little longer to warm things up. What’s more, as a man ages, it may take his equipment longer to get where it needs to be, and the refractory time or the time it takes from orgasm to be able to produce another erection is extended as time goes on. These aren’t problems necessarily. It means instead that you need to switch up your repertoire in order to deal with the situation at hand. Experts say that men and women can have satisfying sex up into the golden years of life. Here are some techniques to help you to slow things down in the bedroom and ensure optimum performance. One of the advantages of opting for a slower pace is that you will elongate the experience, and increase your chances of giving your partner an orgasm. Joel Block, Ph.D. a licensed sex therapist says, “Research suggests that, on average, men orgasm through intercourse in about 2 minutes of active thrusting.” The average is 14 minutes for women. Says Block, “There’s a 12-minute problem!” Slowing things down, incorporating other forms of stimulation such as oral and digital, and giving extended foreplay before penetration can equal out this discrepancy. What’s more, some use a technique called edging, holding off on your own orgasm by pausing just before ejaculation, can make your orgasm stronger and make you last longer.
Intimacy is created and deepened by slow, meaningful sex. That doesn’t mean a quickie can’t be satisfying now and then. But a long, meaningful period of time to revel in her will not only get and keep you both satisfied, you are sending a certain message to her through your actions. “It’s more suggestive of giving her time and allowing her to enjoy the pleasure,” says Block. Kiss her all over. Use a little dirty talk. Tell her how you want to shower her with affection and pleasure. What’s more, for a man of a certain age where it takes a little while to get things going, instead of wallowing in self-pity for how things used to be, revel in the act, focus on your partner and her pleasure and give her the time of her life. Nothing boosts a man’s ego like a satisfied and happy woman. Furthermore, this slowing things down and saving sex not only will give a more pleasurable experience and make you a better lover, you will be turning a situation from a negative, slower operating equipment, to a positive, putting the focus on her and on weaving a sublime experience together. This can also help decrease performance anxiety. Lastly, try Kegels. These exercises can strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, allowing you to stave off orgasm and making the experience for both lovers more pleasurable.