This New Form Of Birth Control Guarantees You’ll Have An Orgasm

By
April 23rd, 2015

We’re kind of freaked out—yet intrigued.

As if a desire to not have children in the next nine months and protection from STDs weren’t incentive enough to use contraception, researchers have created a new method that promises a 100 percent orgasm rate—at least after you’ve used it a few times.

This Frankenstein-like combination of contraception and sex toy is called the Va w.o.w. Here’s how it works: The female condom, which goes inside you, is attached to a vibrating ring that’s used to keep the condom from slipping into your vagina.

Now about that that whole guaranteed to make you orgasm thing: According to a user survey of 50 women ages 20 to 40 who tried the vibrating female condom, 70 percent achieved an orgasm on the first use, while 84 percent crossed the finish line with the second use, and 100 percent got their happy ending by the fourth use. Crazy, right?

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While the absolute promise of a big O sounds pretty freaking amazing, it’s important to keep in mind that the study was paid for by the creators of the product (so it may well have been biased).

The vibrating female condom is still awaiting FDA approval. However, it could be available in Europe in as soon as a year and a half from now, says Brian Osterberg, CEO of the company that created the device. Now you finally have an excuse to take that European vacation you’ve always wanted.

By Ashley Oerman

Are you really satisfying your wife

By
April 23rd, 2015

First thing’s first, consider your physical health. 

Among the universe’s cruel ironies—pretty much anything having to do with puberty, say, or the career arc of Michael Bay—this has to be near the top of the heap: Women typically hit their sexual stride in their mid-thirties, just as many guys the same age are pulling up lame with the equivalent of a sex-drive charley horse.

Okay, the sprinting metaphor is a bit much, but you get the idea. Guys experience a huge surge of testosterone during adolescence, but by their late twenties, that jolt is already on the wane. A few years later, women are finally ready to join the party.

Does it get any crueler?

And this situation may be more acute than ever.

“There are a lot of very attractive women in their thirties not getting the sex they want,” says Pepper Schwartz, a professor of sociology at the University of Washington in Seattle and author of Prime: Adventures and Advice on Sex, Love, and the Sensual Years. “And it happens as the relationship matures.”

Schwartz notes that it can be an off-putting experience for some men—conditioned for years to initiate sex—when their partners are suddenly making the first move. And the second. And the twelfth.

“Men are used to cajoling and seducing, they are used to doing things on their own erotic schedules,” says Schwartz. “This often teaches him about his own sexuality—that he’s not as omnivorous as he thought.” Then something truly bizarre occurs. “Men can get hurt, too, and find women pushy.”

Such is the case with “Tina” and “Owen” (some names in this story have been changed), a mid-thirties couple in Brooklyn, New York, who both work in marketing. When they started dating, seven years ago, Owen, who lived in Manhattan at the time, was always up for a late-night outer-borough schlep if it meant he’d score.

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“I’d be, ‘It’s eleven o’clock at night,’ and he’d say, ‘I’ll be there,’” Tina says wistfully. Now married for three years, Owen and Tina are approaching a different anniversary—one year of couples therapy. Let’s just say that it isn’t Tina’s sex drive that needs the tune-up.

“He calls me a 17-year-old boy,” she says with a sigh. “It’s kind of like a sad joke.”

Owen wasn’t laughing the day the enormous cherry-red vibrator that Tina ordered arrived in the mail. “I showed it to him—’Look, honey!’—I was all excited,” Tina says. His reaction: “That’s really aggressive.” The vibrator was no fun; it became an issue in therapy.

Tina and Owen are far from alone. There is ample science related to men and sudden dips in testosterone levels—and none of it is good news. Beginning at age 30, most men see the hormone’s production fall off to the tune of 10 percent every decade.

And a study last year by the New England Research Institutes found that today’s men are manufacturing about 20 percent less testosterone than they were only 15 years ago as they age. Speculation on the cause includes an increase in obesity and a decrease in smokers (smoking, it seems, bumps up testosterone production), but nothing has been identified as the main culprit yet. What we do know are the nasty side effects of these hormonal hard times: more fat, less muscle, depression, exhaustion, and, that’s right, a lower sex drive.

It’s a different story for women. Tina has found that her female friends all agree that their orgasms have grown better, stronger, and more fulfilling as they’ve gotten older—but they’ve also become far less frequent as sex is less frequent. Several of Tina’s girlfriends have considered having affairs to compensate for the lack of attention they get at home. In one extreme case, a friend who acted on her desire had to have invasive surgery after contracting a sexually transmitted disease. Her husband still has no idea.

She’s gotta have it, indeed.

“These are third-wave feminists,” notes clinical sexologist Ian Kerner, author of She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman. “Female sexuality is part and parcel of the air they breathe.”

Though she doesn’t partake in extramarital activities herself, Tina understands the temptation: “For the first 15 years of my sexual life, from about 15 to 30, I was just trying to keep everything under control. Now I wonder why I wasn’t just a total slut.”

So why aren’t more thirtysomethings having more sex? It often comes down to that eternal killjoy: communication.

“The main thing I hear from women is: ‘My guy thinks of me as his sweet little girlfriend, while he’s in the other room jerking off to porn,’” Kerner says. “’But if he heard the dirty thoughts I have, it would blow his mind.’”

It’s unlikely that “Ben” thinks of “Cynthia” as his sweet little anything—the New York couple, married for four years after dating for two, have always talked openly about sex. “I’m a lusty person,” says Cynthia, a 39-year-old software developer.

On the couple’s second date, Ben, 42, who works as a gaffer, went to her place to cook dinner, and matters quickly progressed to the bedroom. Over the next several months, Ben almost always made the first move and it was always met with enthusiasm; they got it on a few times a week.

Then romantic inertia set in. Before they realized it, they were spending far less time in the sack. Soon enough, they were lucky to have sex twice a month.

Cynthia’s raging libido, it seems, was not enough to ensure frequent happy endings. As Ben slacked off as the sexual instigator, their success rate dropped precipitously. “If he initiated it, fine, we’d have sex,” Cynthia says. But if Ben didn’t make the first move? Most nights that meant no action.

Eventually, practically bursting with horniness, Cynthia had little choice but to take matters—that is to say, Ben—into her own very capable hands.

Ben acknowledges that Cynthia’s high sex drive has been a boon—essential, even—for their coupling. “That’s an attraction for me,” he says. “When she decides to jump on me—well, hot dog!”

Things aren’t quite so harmonious for “David” and “Frances,” who met in a Baltimore bar three years ago. Early on, the sex was fantastic. But then David, 36, took a job in North Carolina, and Frances, now 33, moved back home to Wisconsin, and grew unhappy about her lack of sexual satisfaction. When she visited him in Carolina, they slept together only once over several weeks. David had become preoccupied with other concerns.

“I guess I’m not spending enough time with her clitoris,” he says now. “We have sex, I get off and leave her frustrated—but it’s not intentional.”

The relationship is hanging on by a thread; the prospects don’t look good. When David called Frances in Wisconsin recently, she told him she was on her way to help a friend “feed the chickens.”

“But I found out later she was really going over to fuck this other guy,” David says. Which, it seems, is an elevated risk these days if your partner is not getting what she needs in bed—and on the kitchen counter and the bathroom linoleum.

“We’re now in the post-Samantha age of the milf,” Kerner notes, alluding to the Sex and the City cougar.

For some guys, that will mean more sex than they ever imagined. For others, it might be time to find a younger girlfriend.

Bring Sexy Back

Six ways to boost your libido

Pump iron or watch an action movie. Testosterone surges following tough-guy activities.

Talk about your feelings. Your sex drive is tied to your state of mind. If you’re nervous or stressed, clear your head by speaking.

Eat fish. It’s full of zinc and phosphorous, both of which are known to increase testosterone levels.

Think about booze. Researchers at the University of Missouri-Columbia found that exposure to words like beer and keg can affect men’s interest in sex.

Lose your gut. Fat cells suck up a certain amount of testosterone, but the ones in the stomach do it most efficiently.

Stay away from meds. Yes, anti-depressants dampen your libido, but so do over-the-counter pills with the warning “May cause drowsiness.”

By Mac Montandon

Sex Positions for the Less Endowed

By
April 20th, 2015

Those who believe that they are less than average in size often worry about pleasing their partner. Whether they are just feeling inadequate or they do fall short, it doesn’t matter. Realize that millions of men are below average, considered five inches long. But you don’t need a certain size to please a woman. What’s more, those who are too long often slam into the cervix which can be painful. Painful sex is only going to get you less time between the sheets. There’s an old saying, “It’s not the size of the ship that counts but the motion in the ocean.” Use sexy foreplay along with the right positions and technique and she’ll be worshipping your member no matter what size it is. One way to get her all riled up is by investing in foreplay. It takes time to get a woman going. But once you get her there and she’s enthusiastic, the experience will be ten times better.

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Kissing her all over and caressing her in places she likes will get her motor running. But don’t stop there. Throw in some pillow talk. Be sure to know what she likes said, and steer clear of what turns her off. Why not incorporate her favorite sex toy? If she likes things a little more intense, sexual biting, spanking and tease and denial might be in order. You want to get her so turned on she’s begging for you to be inside of her. Another thing you can do is incorporate clitoral play. Oral sex, using a vibrator or digital stimulation can get her raring to go. You may even want to have her climax once before penetration. When it comes time for intercourse, try doggie style. Have her face down on the mattress and her bottom way up in the air. Have her back and rear arched high. Lean in and try to give as much body contact as possible. This adds lots of friction equaling pleasure for both of you. The antelope is another position, also done from behind. Here you should both kneel on the floor but bend over the couch or a large, comfy chair. Enter her from behind. Her legs should be open. Since her hands are free, she can self-stimulate if she wishes. Done right, she’ll think you are an amazing lover no matter what size you’re packing.

When a Man Has Difficulty Having an Orgasm

By
April 17th, 2015

If you read a lot about sex online, you’ll come across the statistic that one-third of women cop to not having an orgasm with their partner. But we rarely hear about such problems with men. When we do, it’s the man not lasting long enough. Though less common, some guys rather than having premature ejaculation (PE) experience delayed ejaculation. This is when it takes a man entirely too long to have an orgasm. What’s too long? This is where things get tricky. How long sex should last is completely subjective and varies from person to person. But if it leaves his partner frustrated, worried or causes pain and discomfort, it is a problem. Some men have great difficulty achieving orgasm and this can be a problem too. One cause is over-masturbation. When a man gets used to a certain kind of pressure, technique or speed, he may be conditioned to only orgasm in that way. Also, the more stimulation the penis gets, the more it desensitizes it. Another aspect, the more times he’s ejaculated, the longer it will take for another orgasm to occur. If this is the case you should quit masturbation for one or two weeks and then try having sex again.problems

Do you watch too much porn? This may go hand in hand with masturbation. But some guys condition themselves into having an orgasm only to certain kinds of visual stimulation. If you fancy porn with threesomes, then only seeing a ménage-a-trios will do. Again, cease this activity for one or two weeks and see if that helps. Certain medications can affect sexual experience. Narcotics, antidepressants, antipsychotics, heart medication and others can interfere with hormones, blood flow and other related aspects within the body. A talk with the doctor and a change in prescription or dosage usually clears the problem up. Some guys have a few drinks to take the edge off before a night of passion. But if you overdo it, it can interfere with the whole process. An infection or other health problem may be at fault. Or it could be psychological stemming from anxiety, most likely performance anxiety. Find the root cause and you will discover how to undo the problem.

Drinks that Increase or Dampen your Sex Drive

By
April 15th, 2015

When it comes time to order a drink, do you ever consider your sex life in the decision? Most men don’t. But what’s in your cup may be ramping up your libido or killing it. Lots of times when we have a drink, we never even consider how it will affect our sex drive. But believe it or not, what’s filling your glass may give you a boost or hinder your desire, even your ability to perform. Here are some drinks that increase your sex drive and others that dampen it. A lot of guys use booze to loosen up, shake off the jitters and get into the mood. But in fact, it can have the opposite effect, making you too sluggish to “get-it-on.” One or two drinks might be okay, but any more than that and you are risking a night of celibacy. For those who have functioning issues, perhaps skip the alcohol altogether. Whatever you do, don’t have a gin and tonic. Quinine, the active ingredient in tonic, was shown to lower testosterone in one German study.

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The cooler months bring with them a delicious treat, apple cider. Try it warm with some cinnamon and cloves. Cinnamon is a proven libido booster for men, and cloves give the reproductive system an overall boost. Some guys are soda guys. No matter where they go, they always order a cola. But all of that sugar isn’t good for your waistline. Extra body fat sucks up testosterone, lowering your sex drive and functionality. For those who opt for diet soda, look out for the artificial sweetener, aspartame. This has been proven to lower sex drive. Why not sweeten some lemon seltzer or fresh iced tea with honey instead? Honey aids in the production of testosterone and so helps stoke the fires of desire. Try honey in ginseng tea. Ginseng was shown in one South Korean study to go so far as to reverse ED. Now that you know, you can select a beverage that will get your engine running, instead of having one that revs but never starts.

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