A very Attractive Partner can Cause Performance Anxiety

October 28th, 2014

Most guys want an attractive partner. Not only are they amazing to look at and experience, but they also give his social status a boost. Trouble is no guy ever considers the drawbacks to being with such a person.  So what’s the downside? A very attractive partner, or one that appears perfect in your eyes, can lead to performance anxiety, even cause erectile dysfunction. Men often feel pressure to perform well in bed. Seeing one’s partner as too attractive or too perfect increases that pressure. If the man feels too much anxiety, he will feel that no matter what he does, he cannot measure up. So here sex, instead of becoming a joyous prospect, is riddled with feelings of anxiety, inadequacy, and fear. Not only can this hurt the man’s sex life, it can hurt his relationship too. The partner may feel as though they are being rejected. Even very attractive people have anxieties about their looks, body image issues and what have you. This may exacerbate them, pulling you two apart.


This phenomenon can occur for men of all ages. Of course, if there is no biological issue, than the psychological one needs to be addressed. Men experiencing erectile dysfunction should however get checked out by a physician or urologist, just to make sure that everything is indeed alright. The next step is to build confidence. Talk to your partner about how you feel. They may think you aren’t interested in them anymore, when the exact opposite is true. When the time comes, go slowly. Ask your partner to give you positive reinforcement, such as compliments or encouraging, sexy phrases to reinforce positive feelings and dispel negative ones. Do not retreat into your head. This is where the negative thoughts stem from. Instead, practice being totally focused on the present moment with your partner. Consider all of your senses. What does their skin taste like? What does their hair smell like? Giving compliments can help warm them up too. Spend lots of time on foreplay. Include digital or oral play. Most women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm anyway, something that usually doesn’t occur during intercourse. It’s hard not to feel confident with a moaning or satisfied partner next to you. If none of these help, be sure to seek out a qualified, mental health professional, or a sex therapist.

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