BDSM, is it for you?

By
February 24th, 2015

Are you interested in exploring the kinkier side of sex but afraid of being labeled a pervert, or some other misinformed stereotype? The truth is BDSM which stands for bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism is gaining popularity and acceptance in contemporary society. This is whipping, spanking, role-play, flogging, tease and denial, bondage and other forms of kinkier bedroom play. BDSM’s biggest gain has been the recent popularity of the book series 50 Shades of Grey among women.  A recent study out of the Netherlands found something astonishing. Those in the BDSM community are healthier psychologically. They had higher indicators of mental health than those that didn’t practice BDSM. That’s because they have better communication skills and are more in tune with their partners. So there isn’t anything wrong with practicing BDSM responsibly with another or other consenting adults. So how do you find out if BDSM is for you? Why not watch some porn that incorporates it. How do you feel about it? Does it turn you on? Ask your partner if they’ve ever tried BDSM or if they are interested in it. Show them some porn and see if it turns you on.

bdsm

Visit your local sex shop. Lots of sex shop owners can instruct you on different aspects, outfits, accessories, and more. See if there are any groups in your area. Check out videos online and instructional websites.  SM 101: A Realistic Introduction for Beginner’s by Jay Wiseman is one resource. Another is the website www.kinkacademy.com which has videos in the hundreds regarding everything from proper flogging technique to sex toy operation. Remember that the point is to have fun with your partner, learn more about them and yourself and explore more of your sexuality and theirs. You are going to have to do a lot of talking. Approach the subject by first talking about your partner’s fantasies. See if they have a kinky side. If they don’t bring anything up, ask them. But chances are they’ll have a wild side. Explore some of their fantasies together. Do your best to fulfill them.  Then propose one of yours. See how they feel about it. They may be resistant at first, but warm to the idea. So give your partner time and be patient. Start out slow. Have a safety word you both know and won’t forget. This is the word you use to take you out of whatever scene you are playing. There may be things you want to do that your lover is totally not into. That’s okay. But over time you’ll find that they’ll loosen up more, become more confident and be able to try new things. Don’t feel embarrassed if you want to bring a little kink in the bedroom. Chances are your partner will be excited about the notion.

Leave a Reply